Newage

Monday 1st June 2009

7:40am

Hey

Pinch, punch, first day of the month. No returns! So this is Zoe coming to you from my dining room. Have just had long hot shower to get out all the sand that I collected yesterday.

OMG, you would not believe what happened. Okay, me Sophie and Flo went to the beach, so firstly I had to run, and I mean run, to go catch the bus. Then when we got to the beach we couldn't find anywhere to sit 'cause it was so packed. And then I saw an obese man wearing speedos. (Speedos should not be allowed, it is a crime against humanity) (Except on swimmers, you know professional ones, not just your average Joe, proper, fit swimmers)

So anyway we chatted, got ice cream, I read my magazine, they read their books. It was all fine, except the sand that went everywhere

It's Summer!!!

Saturday 30th May 2009

Hey

Location: My auntie's Living Room , currently at my aunties watching the footie , Listening to: nothing , looking forward to: work experience, spent the day soaking up the sun and hanging with my family, just had a cuddle with baby Joey, what I'm doing after this post: stealing him back again, eating: peanuts, number of ice pops consumed today: 4, what I want most right now: another ice pop, preferably strawberry flavour.

Okay, so if you didn't guess, I have a new addiction; ice pops. Here's my list of things I'm currently addicted to:

1. Chocolate – I need a bar a day or I go nuts.
2. Sleep – I cannot go without sleep, I become a heinous bitch.
3. Polos – They keep my breath minty fresh.
4. Ice pops – I need the colourings, the sugar.

Also I thought I'd compile a list of all my pet hates:

1. Smoking
2. Clingy guys
3. Beards - They're just weird.
4. People who think they're hard
5. Overly friendly guys - "If I wanted you to feel me up, I would ask"
6. Close minded people
7. Netball
8. Sprouts, yuk
9. Airheads - "Like, totally, that is so hot"

Another list for ya, my greatest fears:

1. Micheal Flatly, Lord of the Dance - That guy just scares me.
2. Hairy men
3. Horses
4. Enclosed spaces
5. Spiders
6. Treadmills - You could like, fly off.
7. Sharks
8. Creepy little kids - Think, Sixth Sense.

Word of the Day: Discombobulate - To confuse or frustrate.

Fact of the Day: In York, excluding Sundays, it is legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow.

Video of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0j3tk9Hu4g

Song of the Day: Shake Your Pom Pom - Missy Elliot

Thought of the Day: If the hokie-pokie isn't really what it's all about . . . what then, huh ?

Insult of the Day: Old Man - Not funny until you scream "Screw you, old man!" at the top of your lungs.

Quote of the day: Four out of every three people ... have trouble with fractions.

I'm off Laughing on my fast camel.
Or something to that sort.

My Half Term

Friday 29th May

5:25pm

Hey

Okay, so if I said my half term had been eventful, that would be a big fat lie. For the last 6 days I have done nothing but read, sunbathe, read some more and get annoyed my my family. I'm quite happy though, considering I was bored out my mind. I have a tan, well - ish. I'm a bit sunburt, and my head always hurts. (go back to "list of things to worry about") Despite my lazing about, I think I have gained a new level of fitness, thanks to daily mad raving and flouncing around my room pretending I'm a ninja. My initial plans were to go for a early morning jog, and Monday morning I got up at 7 o'clock with the intention of going for a jog, but that never happened, I went into the kitchen to get a drink and got distracted by a jar of peanut butter, so of course by the time I had made my toast, ate it, had a cornetto, fed the dogs and got Oli breakfast. It was 8 o'clock and there might of been people around. I wouldn't of been able to jog with people around lookin at me funny. God, no. I get enough funny looks as it is. Since then I have abandoned the idea, because I am too easily distracted and very lazy. I mean, I have read 7 books in five days, that's how lazy I am.

The highlight of my week has to be going to see me newborn cousin Joey, oh he's so cute, I stole him for half an hour and marvelled at his tiny little fingers and his dinky little feet. he was really awake as well, so he looked up at me with adorable blue eyes, pausing only to sneeze occasionally because of the flowers nearby. Aww, he's lovely, I would of kept him for longer but I started to smell something funny and passed him over. Then my mother volunteered me to change his nappy, the cheek. That is something I won't even go into, it's too horrifying.

Word of the Day: Smorgasbord - Same as a buffet, but more hilarious.

Fact of the Day: Each year, there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.

Video of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCtMIeEifsw (watch it, you must)

Song of the Day: It's Been a While - Staind

Thought of the Day: Have you ever stopped to think . . . And then forgot to start again

Insult of the Day: Skid - Short for skidmark I suppose—a human stain on the underwear of life. Excellent generic insult.

Quote of the day: If today is the first day of the rest of your life . . . what the hell was yesterday?

Bye XXXX

p.s Big X means big SNOG!!!!

Happeeeeeye!!!

4:10pm



Hey



At the mo, I'm very relaxed. Have spend almost all day outside in the sun, catchin some rays, basically being a sun worshipper. I found a toad out in the garden, I named it Tom, after my brother. I 've been re-reading Harry Potter these last few days, and one thing occurred to me, the Weasleys are all ginger, I mean all of them, that's kinda funny, no offense to Gingers but its just hilarious. Anyway, I guess I'm in a good mood (for a change), I just did mad raving to Pendulum, and now the endorphins are floating around my body like happy, floaty, thingy-m-bobs.

So, I don't have much else to say, well... I do, but I ramble sometimes so I won't go off on one.

Oh, that reminds me , I have this teacher, Mr Turbacik who really really likes the sound of his own voice. I mean, someone will ask; "Sir, why don't we have more fun in lessons", he then go's on to explain why we can't, for like 20 minutes. And when you ask him a question he says, "Well the thing is" and then rambles off. And he does this annoying head tilt thing. OMG, yesterday he dressed up as a cowboy. He wearing a checked shirt, leather cowboy boots, (which apparently, he wears all the time) jeans and and an man scarf, (the image is burned ito my retinas) that brings me to my other point really, what the fudge is up with man-scarves? Seriously, when did man-scarves become the cool new thing? It worked in harry potter. It does not work in real life. Stop wearing man-scarves. They are probably one of the most flamboyantly gay things ever!!!



Word of the Day: Shituation - An event (usually negative) that has the potential to transform your life into utter shit.


Fact of the Day: Real diamonds can be made from peanut butter!


Video of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VdTkKsaupc&feature=related


Song of the Day: Sugar Water - Cibo Matto


Thought of the Day: If the cops arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?



Insult of the Day: Aquatard - Insult directed at grown men who can't swim.


Quote of the day: "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." -George W. Bush

Byeness
xxxxx

Grrrrrrrr

Friday 22nd May

8:30pm

Hey

Do you know what I really hate; annoying, stroppy "Oh NO, Zoe my yo-yo's broken", stampy foot, throw shoes at you and make stupid noises, LITTLE KIDS. Grrrrrrr!!!!!
God she's so annoying, and she keeps on saying "Jellybean" over and over AND over again. THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH I CAN TAKE PEOPLE!!!.
Oh, do you know what else I hate, when people talk in class, then they get told off for it, then they deny it, saying things like "I wasn't talking", or "He was talking to me" and when someones sent out the lesson, why, in the name of Helen's huge fat ass, do they protest. Why do you NEED a bloody excuse to get out the lesson. GRRRRRR!!!

Anyhoo, sorry I haven't blogged in like, years. But my Internet has been down, but its all good. So normally I would tell you about my day or in this case week, but it has been to boring for words. I cannot, for the love of Jane, inflict that on you. (and don't ask who the hell Jane is, cause I have no bloody clue)
If you've guessed yet I'm not really in a good mood, I feel like crap and I've had a headache for what feels like days, and do you want to know what my nan said to me "Maybe it's a brain tumor, I read a story about this girl who kept on getting headaches, turns out she had cancer".
Thanks a bunch nan, I can add; thinking I have a brain tumor to my list, which by the way consists of this:

List of things to worry about:

1. My sanity.
2. My decreasing money supply.
3. My increasing (and worrying) interest in older men.
4. Possibly raising funds, to later in life pay for my mother's carer, when she is committed to the madhouse.
5. Possibly becoming a victim of my mothers curse (a curse that makes all the women in her family grandmothers at the ripe old age of 38, which incidentally, my mother will be that age next month, great)
6. Me possibly having a brain tumor.

I'm suprized I don't have olcers, not really as bad as my mum though, she' scared of driving on the moterway, and worrying I'll like, fall over or something. Well okay, I'll admit I do fall over quite a bit, most often tripping over ground, but whatever.

Word of the Day: Consecotaleophobia - The fear of chopsticks.

Fact of the Day: Did you know that the largest natural penis recorded is 11 inches (I seriously want to meet this guy)

Video of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCQSpzjHxpQ

Song of the Day: Dani California - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Thought of the Day: If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea... does that mean that one in five enjoys it?

Quote of the day: You laugh because I'm different...........I laugh cause I just farted!

Byes

and remember, never take life seriously.

Nobody gets out alive anyway.

xxx

Ararrrgh!!!!

Monday 18th May

5:45pm

Hey

I really hate kids, god they're so cocky, arrogant, annoying, stupid ararrgh AND they think they're hard. *screams*
Anyhoo, I WON THE AUCTION, YAY!!!!!!!!!! Dark Angel will soon be in my hands. Again YAY!!
I haven't got much timeage so I'll make this short.

Found some funny rhymes:

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime


Word of the Day: Borborygmus: The sound of a belly that rumbles

Fact of the Day: Cheese is awesome (*note, this is not an opinion, it is fact, FACT!)

Video of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8ascp99iis (weird, but an awesome song)

Song of the Day: Breathe Me - Sia

Thought of the Day: Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Quote of the day: Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Byeness
Have snogs from Zo XXXXXXXXX

Banana Robber

Sunday 17 May

12:45pm

Hi

Have just read about probably the stupidest crime in history. Apparently, A teenager was caught trying to rob a store with a banana - then ate the makeshift weapon to destroy the evidence. I mean WTF. The 17-year-old is currently in the county jail charged with attempted armed robbery, in North Carolina, America. (well thats the yanks for ya) The bizarre crime began when the teenager entered the 109 Biz Center in Winston-Salem with a banana under his shirt.
The guy told staff in the internet cafe that he had a gun and demanded cash. Owner Bobby Ray Mabe said he and a customer jumped on to Szwalla, pinning him into a chair before deputies arrived.
But while they waited for police, Mabe says the teen stuffed the banana into his mouth and swallowed it.

Now this comment from the owner is priceless, "If he had had a gun he would've shot me," Mabe said yesterday.
"But he had a banana", I don't know first it was guns now bananas, what is coming to the world.

Anyway moving on, I'm fine, life is as boring as ever. Have had a few weird dreams, I think the state of my mind is deteriating. Found a brilliant product yesterday, it is pure genious:

http://www.prezzybox.com/products/index.aspx?pid=4886



What did I say pure genious. It's funny, you'll be surprised at what you can buy out there. Anyhoo, back to me, I am currently in a bidding war on ebay. I placed a bid on Dark Angel Season 1 yesterday, I WILL WIN. And then i will get the 2nd season, hmmm Jensen Ackles is in that.

Word of the Day: Hirsute: To be hairy or fuzzy

Fact of the Day: Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head."

Video of the day:

Maximum Ride - Max

Song of the Day: Thousand Foot Krutch: Phenomenom

Thought of the Day: Do you ever wonder about those people who spend £1.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.

Quote of the day: Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key

Bye

xxx

No name, cause I couldn't think of one.

Wednesday 13th May

4:10pm

Hi

Location: Living room, currently being pissed of by my mother, listening to: Decoy - Paramore, looking forward to next year when I get to leave school, have just been on fanfiction.
What I'm doing after this post: tidying my room (bleah), eating: Maltesers, what I want most right now: to be more happy.

I'm in a really bad mood at the mo, I dunno why, I was fine earlier. Any way can't write much, cause I've got other stuff to do. (boring, annoying stuff).

Word of the Day: Roger - Old British word for having sexual intercourse.

Fact of the Day: Kissing can aid in reducing tooth decay. This is because the extra saliva helps in keeping the mouth clean. (well, if thats so *puckers up*)

Video of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktfFGF15E8g&feature=PlayList&p=F3F3C1FBDD530B84&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=94

Song of the Day: Run Like Hell - Pink Floyd

Thought for the day: Who tastes dog food when it has a 'new & improved' flavour?

Quote of the day: I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George Bush

Hugh Jackman is a stud muffin

Monday 11th May

5:40pm

Hey

Location: Dining room, currently being pissed of by my sister, Listening to: Hallelujah - Paramore, looking forward to art tomorrow, spent the day at school (bleah), just done my french coursework, but I used Google translate (hehe), what I'm doing after this post: making some dinner, eating: pretzels, what I want most right now: my own Hugh Jackman.

Watched the Wolverine movie yesterday, god that man *drools*, I mean, I know he's like 40-odd, but he's still got it, it being, unbelievebly sexy. Oooooooh he's my new sugar daddy. mmmmmmm.
Anyhoo, on other things, school sucks, but Alex bought me some chocolate today, chocolate is great. She is forgiven for the mousse incident.
Changing subject... I dyed my hair last night, I love the colour, It's awesome.

Word of the Day: Turophile - Someone who really fancies cheese

Fact of the Day: If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

Video of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X2alB-cEaw

Song of the Day: Shinobi vs Dragon Ninja

Thought for the day: Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Quote of the day: You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

Byenes xx

Random Drabble

Saturday 9th May

7:20

Location: Dining room, currently being pissed of by my dogs, have just finished a load of washing up, looking forward to tomorrow, drinking a coke, listening to: Just Like You - Three Days Grace, chatting to Ellie on msn, have spent day at my aunties eating pizza, catching up with my cuzzes and playing with my adorable little cuz Harry, what I'm doing after this post: watching a few Naruto eps then dying my hair. Eating: Chocolate cake, have had countless compliments from my annoyingly skinny cousins that think I have a nice figure, and now feel good about myself, right now the thing I want most is... more chocolate cake.

Word of the Day: Craxy - The X is for extra crazy. e.g "This dog is craxy!"

Fact of the Day: Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do - ha ha lefties, you suck!

Video of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voCgQrAJfJo&feature=channel

Song of the Day: Sum 41 - Heart Attack

Quote of the day: A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Byeness
Love Zoe xoxo

Alex the Mousse Flicker

Hi

I am dedicating this post to Alex the mousse flicker. That whore chucked pot of mousse at me!!
God, it was everywhere, on my top, on my jeans. It looked like I'd shat myself. Arargh!!!!!
I will get her back, I swear Alex, when you least expect it... bam, mousse in the face.
Anyhoo, it was fun, we ate a load of ice cream out of this long thing, it was LUSH. We had to feed other people, I fed Alex and got it all in her face, ha ha. It was cool, I had cheesecake, and a marshmallow that looked kinda scabby, YUM!!
I saw this hilarious sign, outside the church by the field it said, "Do Not Use Hard Balls On The Grass, Use The Soft Balls Provided". Me and Georgia cracked up over that.
So about the school day, Gen killed a guy and he was chucked in a bin, we saw a guy on an expedition.
My life scares me sometimes, it can sometimes be a little strange.
Oooooh, I have a new font. YAY!!!!!!

I found this hilarious thing on facebook:

Here's how you do it:

Dear (someone you recently talked to),I don't really know how to tell you this, but(1). (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6)enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).(12),

(Your name)

1) What's the color of your shirt?

Blue - I'm in love with your cat

Red - Our affair is over

White - I’m joining the Convent

Black -Our romance is over

Green- Our socks don't match

Grey - You're a leprechaun

Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy

Pink - Your nostrils are insulting

Brown - The mafia wants you

No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you

Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?

January - That night you picked your nose

February -When I quoted Forest Gump

March - When your dwarf bit me

April - When I tripped on peanut butter

May - When I finally changed my underwear

June - When you put cuffs on me

July – When I saw the purple monkey

August - When you smacked my ass

September - Last year when you peed your pants

October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub

November - When your dog humped my leg

December - When i threw out your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?

Tacos - In your apartment

Chicken- In your car

Pasta - Outside of your office

Hamburgers - Under the bus

Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner

Lasagna - In your closet

Kebab - With Jean Chrétien

Seafood - In a clown suit

Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert

Pizza - At the mental hospital

Hot dog - With George Bush and Stephen Harper

Other - Under a street lamp

4) What's the color of your socks?

Yellow - Ignore

Red - Put whipped cream on

Black - Hit on

Blue - Knock out

Purple - Pour syrup on

White - Carve your initials into

Grey - Pull the clothes off

Brown - bite off

Orange - Castrate

Pink - Pull the pants off of

Barefoot - Sit on

Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?

Black - My boyfriend

White - My father

Grey – The Catholic Priest

Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie

Purple - My corned beef hash

Red – My knee caps

Blue - My salt-beef bucket

Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana

Orange - My Blink 182 cd

Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection

Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?

One Tree Hill - Senile

Heroes- Frostbitten

Lost - High

Simpsons- Cowardly

The news - Scarred

American Idol - Masochistic

Family Guy - Open

Top Model - Middle-class

Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?

Happy - How awful you are

Sad - How boring you are

Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage (wo)men

Angry - That your smell makes me vomit

Depressed – That we’re related

Excited - That I may pee my pants

Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you

Worried - That your Ford sucks

Apathetic - That you need a sex-change

Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes

Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist

Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid

Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?

White - Your toe ring

Yellow - Your love letters to me

Red - The pictures from Vegas

Black - Your pet rock

Blue - The couch cushions

Green - Your car

Orange - Your false teeth

Brown - Your nose hair clippers

Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear

Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket

Pink - The cut toenails

Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?

A/B - My virginity

C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it

E/F - Your neighbors dog

G/H - The oil tank from your car

I/J - Your left ear

K/L - The results of that blood-sample

M/N - Your glass eye

O/P - My common sense

Q/R - Your mom

S/T - Your collection of butterflies

U/V - Your criminal record

W/X – Your sucide note

Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?

A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass

C/D - Always will remember the pep talks

E/F -Never will forget that night

G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.

I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly

K/L - Hate your cooking

M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching

O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises

Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet

S/T - Always wanted to break your legs

U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart

W/X - Haven’t showered in a month

Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?

Wine- Our friendship is ruined

Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon

Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo

Milk - The apartment building is on fire

Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this

Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice

Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.

Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out

Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird

Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey

Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine

Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?

Thailand – Greetings to your frog Leonard

Australia - Warm tingly sensations

France - Love always

Spain - With tears of sadness

China – You make me sick

Germany – Please don’t hurt me

Japan - Go milk a cow

Greece - Your everlasting enemy

USA - Best of luck on the sex change

Egypt – Kiss my butt

England - Go drown yourself

The end bit:

Word of the Day: Refrigerator Blindness - Selective loss of visual acuity in association with common foraging of the refrigerator. Predominantly seen in children and males.

Fact of the Day: Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. - What about that pig?

Video of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JAcdbKFygg&feature=PlayList&p=3B2F9B52FFAF2214&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=31

Song of the Day: Decoy - Paramore

Quote of the day: Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Bye!!!!!

I am a balloon

Hi!!

I have come to the realization that I am a balloon. I am full of mayonnaise. Balloonophobes fear me. Mayonnaisophiles love me. Those who fear balloons yet love mayonnaise are filled with a sense of yearning and terror whenever I am near. This power is intoxicating to me.

Anyhoo, about my last couple of days-ish. I had a fun weekend, and an extra day was just what I needed. Still feel like crap though. Today was funny though esecially lunch and geography. At lunch me, Gen and Alex sat at on bench and named people by what they looked like. In geography Alex called me a dike and a whore which eventually resulted in me shouting out in front of the whole class, "I am not a lesbian". Unbelievible.

In this post I thought I might write about my friends because they wnted me to. (dumb reason I know)

Any way first is:

Alex

Alex is probs the one I've known longest, as we went to poulner together. She's not girly at all, (which bugs me because I totally am) she is addicted to her computer, she is hilarious but also takes the piss out of me (see above), she is despite apperances not a lezzie (haha), she is generous and has on many occasions fed me. And finally she has big chesticles. (haha again) She has awesome eyelashes.

Georgia

The smart one, who is really green-minded (see below),who has amazing hair, she is a great listener, good at make-up and has aa awesome fashion sense, She can sing and that's why SHE MUST DIE!!! She laughs at anything, she is beating me with boyfriends (number, not atually boys, that would be weird). She is pretty, I sooo hate her.

Gen

Aww, the cute one, the baby of the group, who is mad and an anime whore, she is amazing at ninja running, has awesome nails. She has red hair, (like me, we're hair buddies). She is good at art, and she blows her clarinet, Kakashi. She is awesome and we share a love of pot noodles .

Holly

Ahh Holly the sweet and inocent one, who shares a hatred of Helen, who will become my personal hairdesser and make-up artist. She is lovely, and way too happy, (she may be on drugs) she has some pretty awesome pens, and cushions, AND t-shirts, she always gives me lifts and she's the best for a giggle.

Ok, thats my besties, I think they rock!!!

The end thingy:

Word of the Day: Green Minded - Means dirty thoughts

Fact of the Day: A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

Video of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy2L3dHWZkI

Song of the Day: Lilly Alen - Not Fair

Quote of the day: When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Bye

Hilariosity

Hi!
Feelin kinda crap at the mo, with a stinkin cold, and headaches. But I'm so happy!!!!!!!!!!
Got my hair cut yesterday, now I feel like I have no hair. Went about 20cm shorter, layered and with a fringe, or bangs as the americans call it, I don't get that.
Anywho, I'm lookin forward to a fun-filled Naruto watchin weekend.
I found some funny jokes on the genious creation that is the internet.
Here they are:
(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive."
the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

(2)Dear Lord,I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,I'll beat him to death. AMEN

(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping forbreath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

“Bipolar? It means…”
“A bisexual from Poland. Never speak to one, they’re trouble.”

And the normal ending:

Word of the Day: Awestuck, I mispelled awestruck once and then awestuck, stuck

Fact of the Day: More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

Video of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKh7ny_w6Rw&feature=related

Song of the Day: Unframed - Ill Nino

Quote of the day: "Aaaah, when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born."-Ron-HP

Byes, (Even though I'm not atually talking to anybody cause nobody follows me *sigh*)
Byeeeeeeeeeeee!!!